~~~Hey You..Yes U!!~~~

HeY..ThaNx For ViSiTIng My BloG
It'S noThiNg acTuaLLy
I jUsT need to WriTe tO FeeL beTter
WheN loT haS GoIng On iN LifE, I neEd a Place whEre I can Rest and StaY GroundEd

LoVe Ya..
amalina

Monday, December 3, 2012

What makes us?

I'm staring at the ceiling and figuring about my life.

26 years and a month.

To be honest, it took me 26years to understand this life.

Somehow i was thinking that if it's not because of the pain that i felt, the people who left me, and the failure that i face, maybe i still didn't 'get' this life.

After 26 years, i am proudly say that i am now having most rational state of mind.

The secret?

1> Detachment from what u love the most 2> understand why are we here in this world. (as a WORSHIPPER)


It was not simple at all. But once u get it,  u didn't bother that much when life gives u hell.


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Monday, July 16, 2012

I'm scared

U know,  i have always this kind of thought.  Right now,  the relationship between me and Allah is quite good.  I have relied on Him for everything since I'm not in a serious relationship with anyone at the moment.  I can see the change in me.  It's true when people said that when u're truly in love with someone, u will forget everything around u.  And to be honest,  I've been in that situation. It's not that I've forgotten about Allah.  I do remember Him. But, not as much as i am now.  I guess the only good thing that happened to me from the unsuccessful relationship is I'm getting closer to Allah.  It was the greatest thing to be exact. So,  what I am scared of is the change of heart when I'm with somebody.  That's why i hope the next person that I'm going to meet is the real deal and He will make me loves Allah more and more by day.  I can't trust myself.  I'm not strong enough.  I need support and continuous motivation from a man that is qualified enough to be called husband.  InsyAllah


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Self control

Perhaps controlling myself is the most difficult thing to do. I dont know if other people r feeling the same or not. 

I have planned so many things in my life. But i do so little.. Sigh


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Monday, May 7, 2012

to meet my own expectation

Ape harapan anda pada diri anda?


............................................................


If u love urself,u will definitely have the answet


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Sunday, February 26, 2012

alfatihah

I no longer have a father

I keep reminding myself that

Because sometimes i tend to forget and his absence doesn't feel real

Truth to be told,I'm not sad

This feeling,it is not sadness

A feeling of losing but it is bearable

It's not that i don't love him,i do

I've cried

But,i can feel it in my heart that he is in much better place

I saw him one last moment,one final breath,when the ruh is departed from its body

Subhanallah, it was easy for him

Alhamdulillah, Allah has made it easy for him

This tears,it's not because I'm sad

It's because i miss him and I do hope that I could be much helpful daughter to him


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Monday, February 13, 2012

faham hakikat hidup

Hari ni mood sy sgt off. Taktau la kenapa.rasa nk duduk dlm bilik diam2 dan xnk jumpa or cakap dengan sesiapa. Dalam hati rs sgt lost dan murung tanpa ada sebarang sebab pun. i know that i shouldn't be in that state because i'll just end up hurting myself.

Perkara yang sy selalu buat bila sy dlm keadaan mcm ni adalah cuba faham balik tujuan penciptaan sy. Sy dicipta untuk beribadat dan status sy dlm dunia ini adalah hamba. Tetapi sy hidup dengan angkuh. Sy hidup dengan meminta minta. Dan bila tidak diberi sy merajuk,sy marah. Astaghfirullah. Sy bukan makhluk Nya yg terbaik. Sy tahu itu. Tp sy boleh sekurang2nya jd makhlukNya yg sedar di mana tempat sy berada. Bila sy realize benda2 ni,sy jd malu untuk jd moody tak tentu pasal. Sy tak ada hak pun nak hidup dengan pemikiran bahawa 'ni hidup sy,suka hati sy la nk merajuk ke,nk marah ke' sbb sy tahu sy diwujudkan dengan tujuan dan bukan terjadi dengan sendiri. Cuba kita bayangkan,jika kita dapat mencipta sesuatu dengan tujuan khusus, tetapi akhirnya ciptaan itu tidak bertindak mengikut arahan. Kita pasti marah bukan?mesti kita akan ckp 'tak sedar diri betul'. Tapi Allah terus menerus mengurniakan rezeki tak putus2 walaupun kita sehari tu kdg2 langsung tidak pedulikan Allah. Astaghfirullah. Bila dah faham hakikat ini,mahukah lagi kita hidup secara pentingkan diri sedangkan kita ini diwujudkan dan tanpa ihsan Allah,tak mungkin kita dapat pijak bumi dan rs hidup yg kita ada skrg. Wallahualam.


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Friday, February 10, 2012

mom's advice

What is ur life most wonderful gift?

For me, it's my mom's advice.

Sometimes it feels like nag. But if i listen to it carefully, every words is actually a reminder for me so that i won't be lost along the way. My mom's best advice is " baca quran selalu supaya jauh dr penyakit lupa". 


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Monday, February 6, 2012

hardly focusing

Sy tak taulah samada sy seorg yg ad masalah ni atau org pn penah mengalami masalah ni. Sy sgt susah nk fokus ketika kerja. I can focus only if the due date is tomorrow. If not,mmg sgt susah nk remind diri sendiri supaya fokus. Is there any focus pill outside?if ad mmg sy la org pertama yg akan g beli. I think about too many things. Whenever i start focusing on 1 thing,the other thing will come into mind. Then I'll get distracted everytime. sy mmg kena push diri sy supaya lebih fokus n bersemangat time keje.  Sbb skrg byk sgt keje pending sbb I'm lagging behind with the thought and not execution. Ya Allah,enlight me!


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Tuesday, January 24, 2012

sadness territory

I'm saying goodbye to the sadness territory

I'm picking up myself and walking ahead

Though hope didn't happened the way it should be

I'm picking myself up and run

I run with the smile on my face

I look up and i see Him smiling

He loves me

He is watching me

I have to show to Him that I am strong

I can do this

It's nothing

I'm more than this

Once again I carry myself and run


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Monday, January 23, 2012

Menuju Percintaan Selepas Berkahwin

Hi.
sy rasa nk menulis entry yg agak serius sedikit intipatinya hari ini (chewaahh)
perkahwinan adalah topik yang sgt panas bagi umur sy sekarang ni
orang tua cakap "bunga tengah mekar berkembang menunggu untuk dipetik" =)
Tak sy nafikan. terpalit juga perasaan ingin berkahwin
Mana mungkin sebagai manusia biasa tiada perasaan begitu
Sudah fitrah manusia dijadikan berpasangan, bukan?
Soalan yang sering sy terima akhir-akhir ini ialah "Bila nak kahwin? Takkanlah tak ada calon lg?"
Secara jujurnya, sy sudah agak tidak berperasaan dengan soalan begitu.Mana mungkin sy ada jawapan pada perkara yg bukan ditulis oleh sy aturannya.
Dan ada juga yang risau melihat sy belum bertemu calon dan sebagainya menyebabkan sy tersenyum sendiri
"I am OKAY "
Ini adalah jawapan ikhlas dr hati sy yg benar-benar menerima qada' dan qadar Ilahi

Sy tidak mahu mempunyai calon untuk bercinta
Sy mahu lelaki yang halal untuk sy cintai

dengan kata lain, sy hanya percaya pada percintaan selepas berkahwin
Saya melihat percintaan sebelum berkahwin itu adalah satu perkara yang sangat merugikan
Katakan sy kolot atau sebagainya, tapi begitulah keinginan hati saya
Hati sy "kedekut" untuk berkongsi perasaan dengan seorang lelaki ajnabi yang tidak diciptakan untuk sy sebagai Imam di dunia dan teman di akhirat kelak
Dosa sy sebagai seorang perempuan yang tidak mempunyai kekasih ini telah terlalu banyak untuk ditambah dengan dosa sy ber"khalwat" dengan lelaki ajnabi walaupun bukanlah secara zahirnya.
Sy tidak mahu membuang emosi merasa risau, sedih, kecewa pada seorang lelaki yang telah tertulis ditakdirkan untuk orang lain. It such a waste!
Jadi, sy rs tidak mengapa jika terlambat sedikit panggilan jodoh itu asalkan berbaloi.
Sy bukan mencari kesempurnaan. Tetapi mencari pelengkap bagi kekurangan sy.
Pada pandangan sy, Suami sy adalah seorang lelaki yg tidak pernah sy kenali, tetapi telah ditakdirkan Allah untuk sy TAATI dan POHON KEIZINAN untuk setiap hal dalam hidup sy selepas akad dilafazkan. He sounds like a VERY important person, right? Well, HE IS! Sebab itulah sy memandang hal jodoh ini sangat serius dan penting. Dia bukanlah lelaki yang sekadar untuk mengisi masa lapang sy, sekadar teman berborak, sekadar teman makan, sekadar teman untuk mendengar luahan.
I live without "sekadar teman" just fine.
Habis tu kenapa sy perlu berkhawin? Jawapannya, sy perlukan pasangan untuk bawa sy ke peringkat perjalanan seterusnya. Perjalanan menuju akhirat. Perjalanan yang sy tak mampu nak jalani sendiri walaupun sekarang sy telah pun memulakan perjalanan itu. Kerana, dengan menjadi isteri, seterusnya menjadi ibu, jalan menuju ke syurga itu lebih mudah digapai dr bersendirian. Selepas menjadi isteri dan ibu, segala perbuatan kepada suami dan anak-anak adalah pahala, walaupun hanya dengan seringan-ringan perbuatan. Lagipun, dunia ni hanyalah tempat kita singgah sahaja. Janganlah terlalu taksub dengan keinginan dan nafsu diri sendiri sehingga terlupa tujuan kita diciptakan.
Untuk teman-teman sy yg masih "single" dan mencari, tak perlu risau, Allah Maha Mendengar. Lebih baik berada dalam keadaan begini daripada berada di dalam satu perhubungan yang terhasil atas keinginan nafsu dan tiada penghujung. We r so better than that.Sementara kita single ni, marilah kita lengkapkan diri kita dengan ilmu menjadi isteri solehah dan ibu mithali.
Jom! Mari menuju ke perhubungan selepas perkahwinan. Subhanallah

*Berusaha, berdoa dan bertawakal. InsyaAllah*




Sunday, January 22, 2012

friends for benefit?

What is your friend for?When do you call out for them?

Is it during ur happy moment or during ur worst time?

Is it for sharing ur best thought or is it when u have nobody to talk to and suddenly u're thinking bout her/him.

If you are a good or i mean a great friend u will say ur friends r indeed for both times. Happy and sad. During rainy and sunny day.

It's funny how i can classify my friends to some types.

Type 1 : 'self centered' -the world just evolves around her/him. It's all about her life,her favourite things,her this,her that and the list goes on without i need to explain any further

Type 2 : 'Not Interested'- Do u know what i mean?when ur friend just randomly ask u questions without even care what the answer is going to be.

Type 3 : 'Sudden' - the kind of friend that only reach out for me just because she/he needs a good comfort and a pillow to lay down for a minute.

Type 4 : 'Random' - a friend who becomes my friend just because he/she used to be my classmate or i met at some events and that's all.

Type 5 : 'Umbrella'- through rain,through storm, he/she will always around and provide me comfort n warmth even though there is nothing wrong with me.

If u are saying "i think i am type 5", please give yourself a pat on the back because ure in the road of becoming a great friend ^^

Well,i don't mind that much when my friends are reaching out for me just for some purposes coz maybe without i realize, i am too doing that.

But, it will be nice if somehow they r making some effort by asking how am i doing,am i healthy @ etc. Coz sometimes i do feel like a 911; only needed when there is a tragedy or emergency.  When there is nothing happened,  who bother to call 911, right? Well, if u get what i mean..

So, for my beloved friends, be a lot more sensible and interested towards ur friend's life than ur own life and drama. This reminder is for myself as well. INSYALLAH

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Wednesday, January 11, 2012

26 is not young

Hi.tengah tunggu time nk blk.blogging la kjap.well tahun ni sy msk 26 thn. Kind of creep me out.tp what to do. Kata2 penyedap hati spt 26 tu muda lg bla bla bla tu hnyla imaginasi dr sndr je bcoz u know well that ur body and mind is getting older by day.

Getting older is not always a bad thing. Semua atas pilihan msg2 nk hidup mcm mana. It kind of hit me because I'd lived my life with toooooooo many excuses. Too many rules..life should not be like that. Life should be FUN and JOYFUL.life should be SPONTANEOUS. i guess i want to achieve something this year. I want to make my 26 years of living as the most remarkable age in my life.

As I remember,i didn't have any age to be proud of. I live year after year with tooooo many hopes but never with the will to execute.

Guess that I'll change the game this time around.i will Make it more interesting and meaningful. INSYAALLAH


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Tuesday, January 10, 2012

when u want so many but time is rushing

I left my master program hanging by now. And i have to make a quick decision on continuing the prog or just leave it at that. It such a waste if i had to quit coz i really enjoy it. But, now I'm in a totally different situation. I have a permanent job and it does not quite compliment my master program. i don't know. I think i really need to ask myself whether i really want to fight for it or not. It's true that the passion is somehow diminished a little but i still got partial flames that still burning. And to be honest,once the fire is gone,i dont think ill find it back. I really need to have a really deep thinking about this.


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Wednesday, January 4, 2012

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I'M in The MooD of This