alfatihah

I no longer have a father

I keep reminding myself that

Because sometimes i tend to forget and his absence doesn't feel real

Truth to be told,I'm not sad

This feeling,it is not sadness

A feeling of losing but it is bearable

It's not that i don't love him,i do

I've cried

But,i can feel it in my heart that he is in much better place

I saw him one last moment,one final breath,when the ruh is departed from its body

Subhanallah, it was easy for him

Alhamdulillah, Allah has made it easy for him

This tears,it's not because I'm sad

It's because i miss him and I do hope that I could be much helpful daughter to him

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.2

faham hakikat hidup

Hari ni mood sy sgt off. Taktau la kenapa.rasa nk duduk dlm bilik diam2 dan xnk jumpa or cakap dengan sesiapa. Dalam hati rs sgt lost dan murung tanpa ada sebarang sebab pun. i know that i shouldn't be in that state because i'll just end up hurting myself.

Perkara yang sy selalu buat bila sy dlm keadaan mcm ni adalah cuba faham balik tujuan penciptaan sy. Sy dicipta untuk beribadat dan status sy dlm dunia ini adalah hamba. Tetapi sy hidup dengan angkuh. Sy hidup dengan meminta minta. Dan bila tidak diberi sy merajuk,sy marah. Astaghfirullah. Sy bukan makhluk Nya yg terbaik. Sy tahu itu. Tp sy boleh sekurang2nya jd makhlukNya yg sedar di mana tempat sy berada. Bila sy realize benda2 ni,sy jd malu untuk jd moody tak tentu pasal. Sy tak ada hak pun nak hidup dengan pemikiran bahawa 'ni hidup sy,suka hati sy la nk merajuk ke,nk marah ke' sbb sy tahu sy diwujudkan dengan tujuan dan bukan terjadi dengan sendiri. Cuba kita bayangkan,jika kita dapat mencipta sesuatu dengan tujuan khusus, tetapi akhirnya ciptaan itu tidak bertindak mengikut arahan. Kita pasti marah bukan?mesti kita akan ckp 'tak sedar diri betul'. Tapi Allah terus menerus mengurniakan rezeki tak putus2 walaupun kita sehari tu kdg2 langsung tidak pedulikan Allah. Astaghfirullah. Bila dah faham hakikat ini,mahukah lagi kita hidup secara pentingkan diri sedangkan kita ini diwujudkan dan tanpa ihsan Allah,tak mungkin kita dapat pijak bumi dan rs hidup yg kita ada skrg. Wallahualam.

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.2

mom's advice

What is ur life most wonderful gift?

For me, it's my mom's advice.

Sometimes it feels like nag. But if i listen to it carefully, every words is actually a reminder for me so that i won't be lost along the way. My mom's best advice is " baca quran selalu supaya jauh dr penyakit lupa". 

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.2

hardly focusing

Sy tak taulah samada sy seorg yg ad masalah ni atau org pn penah mengalami masalah ni. Sy sgt susah nk fokus ketika kerja. I can focus only if the due date is tomorrow. If not,mmg sgt susah nk remind diri sendiri supaya fokus. Is there any focus pill outside?if ad mmg sy la org pertama yg akan g beli. I think about too many things. Whenever i start focusing on 1 thing,the other thing will come into mind. Then I'll get distracted everytime. sy mmg kena push diri sy supaya lebih fokus n bersemangat time keje.  Sbb skrg byk sgt keje pending sbb I'm lagging behind with the thought and not execution. Ya Allah,enlight me!

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.2