tak cukup ikhlas

ALhamdulillah..
hari ni otak macam di inject dengan fikiran yang berfaedah sikit
selalunya aku salu fikir bende yang sia2 je..
psl kerje..cinta..nk kawen n that kind of stuff la
berulang ulang smpi bende yg same je aku fikir
then hari ni..
aku cam teringat satu peristiwa la
yang pernah berlaku di sekeliling aku
bende ni jadi mase annual dinner ofice aku
then aku duduk satu meja dengan wakil dari rumah kebajikan
this woman actually seorang nun..
tapi..
kalau kita nk mencontohi peribadi seseorang, xkisahla background dia dari agama mana sekalipun kan
ape yang boleh aku cakapla kan
aku macam termalu sendiri dengan diri aku..
ok time tu makanan dihidangkan..dan aku mmg sgt lapar
sbb dr petang xmakan n mmg ditunggu2la makanan
then sblah aku, tempat kawan aku stil kosong lagi sbb die cam bz lari2 uruskan majlis hari tu..
pastu aku cm fikir" ok jap lagi dia datangla tu"
sbb mmg dia kat kawasan tu je..
so aku pun sibuk uruskan makan aku sendiri
then she ask me " where's your friend?"
aku cam terkebil2 sbb tgh makan dengan rakusnya
"u didn't save some for her?"
at that time aku rs cam Ya Allah..malunya aku dengan diri aku pada ketika tu..
aku pon jawabla "err..she'll come later"
then terus aku sendukkan makanan dalam pinggan kwn aku 2
at that point rs cam..i should think bout other people instead of me
and then dia cam sangat concern pasal orang lain..
aku mmg rasa cam "aku kene berubah"
xboleh hidup semberono mcm sekarang
sekarang kan aku rs cam aku ni loser gakla
cam ignorant
mls nk involve
mls nk berubah
cam hidup dalam kotak fikiran sndiri
kene berubah
kene berubah
hurmm

a song to sum up my feeling

Way Back Into L.O.V.E

I've been living with a shadow overhead
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just can't seem to move on

I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need em again someday
I've been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
Oh oh oh

I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but I just don't see the signs
I know that it's out there
There's got to be something for my soul somewhere

I've been looking for someone to shed some light
Not somebody just to get me through the night

I could use some direction
And I'm open to your suggestions

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I'll be there for you in the end