Rahsia hidup rahsia Allah

Hari ni baca blog seorang wanita yang anaknya tidak sedarkan diri selepas komplikasi ketika melahirkan anak. Baca dari kaca mata ibu terhadap anaknya cukup buat aku tersentuh. Dari anak yg sihat kepada anak yang terlantar dan tidak dapat memberikan respon. Her mother must be dying inside.

It got me thinking though

What will happen to me in the future?

Adakah Allah takdirkan aku sihat dan dapat beranak cucu

Atau Allah takdirkan aku kembali kepadaNya dalam waktu yang terdekat

Atau Allah takdirkan aku sakit dan tidak berupaya 

Subhanallah Alhamdulillah Allahuakbar

Tidaklah aku memiliki pengetahuan sedikit pun

Aku sibuk, sungguh sibuk memikirkan masa depan yang aku ingin raih. Membina keluarga. Membina kerjaya. Sehingga aku lupa, ketentuan itu milik Allah. Astaghfirullah

Ya Allah, aku pentingkan diri. Aku tidak mahu sakit, aku tidak mahu menderita, aku tidak mahu rebah.

Ya Allah, aku tidak sedar aku lemah. Aku perlu meminta. Aku sombong 

Allah Allah

Sucikan hatiku

Lapangkan dadaku

Aku takut Ya Allah

Aku takut aku tewas ketika diriMu bentangkanku ketentuanMu

Aku khuatir aku hilang keyakinanku kepadaMu

Ya Allah, ujianMu, kuatkan lah aku. Jangan biarkan kesakitan menanggung ujianMu merobek hatiku sehingga aku hilang pertimbangan

Ya Rabb. Kasihanilah hambaMu yang lemah dan hina ini

Amin ya Rabbal Alamin

i am here to change the norm..at least my norm

I work at a new work place now.
my feeling? Totally grateful
I can stay with my mom. yay
I love Kelantan and its people.
I guess, i want to do better as an engineer
Not just for my satisfaction but for others benefit too
I believe that, "do ur work properly" is not enough
I want to break the norm
I know that the path is not easy
I will have doubt, I know myself
but,  I want to have something that will warm the heart and soothe the stress  whenever I think about my job.
IAllah

Selfish and Ignorant Bunch

Hi, first post in 2013. and it's not going to be the nice one.
i want to rant, i am angry, mad and disappoint at this moment.
maybe it is because i expect something from them.
because in my head, they will help me
but, eventually, whatever i think in my head, is only in my head alone.
people are the hardest creature to deal with
they lie, they mock, they ignore
they just don't care!
they broke ur spirit
but there r also another bunch who always be there for you
but they r not many
i m not sure i am with which bunch.
ignorant n selfish bunch or supportive and helpful bunch.
i hope i am the latter
urgh why am i wasting the energy and feeling over this.
Maybe i'm just frustrated.
yes, i am. BIG time.
i don't want to curse u inside my heart, because all of u r my friends.
but, Sadly, sadddddlyyyyy U guys aren't as reliable as i expected.
sigh