What makes us?

I'm staring at the ceiling and figuring about my life.

26 years and a month.

To be honest, it took me 26years to understand this life.

Somehow i was thinking that if it's not because of the pain that i felt, the people who left me, and the failure that i face, maybe i still didn't 'get' this life.

After 26 years, i am proudly say that i am now having most rational state of mind.

The secret?

1> Detachment from what u love the most 2> understand why are we here in this world. (as a WORSHIPPER)

It was not simple at all. But once u get it,  u didn't bother that much when life gives u hell.

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I'm scared

U know,  i have always this kind of thought.  Right now,  the relationship between me and Allah is quite good.  I have relied on Him for everything since I'm not in a serious relationship with anyone at the moment.  I can see the change in me.  It's true when people said that when u're truly in love with someone, u will forget everything around u.  And to be honest,  I've been in that situation. It's not that I've forgotten about Allah.  I do remember Him. But, not as much as i am now.  I guess the only good thing that happened to me from the unsuccessful relationship is I'm getting closer to Allah.  It was the greatest thing to be exact. So,  what I am scared of is the change of heart when I'm with somebody.  That's why i hope the next person that I'm going to meet is the real deal and He will make me loves Allah more and more by day.  I can't trust myself.  I'm not strong enough.  I need support and continuous motivation from a man that is qualified enough to be called husband.  InsyAllah

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Self control

Perhaps controlling myself is the most difficult thing to do. I dont know if other people r feeling the same or not. 

I have planned so many things in my life. But i do so little.. Sigh

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to meet my own expectation

Ape harapan anda pada diri anda?

............................................................

If u love urself,u will definitely have the answet

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alfatihah

I no longer have a father

I keep reminding myself that

Because sometimes i tend to forget and his absence doesn't feel real

Truth to be told,I'm not sad

This feeling,it is not sadness

A feeling of losing but it is bearable

It's not that i don't love him,i do

I've cried

But,i can feel it in my heart that he is in much better place

I saw him one last moment,one final breath,when the ruh is departed from its body

Subhanallah, it was easy for him

Alhamdulillah, Allah has made it easy for him

This tears,it's not because I'm sad

It's because i miss him and I do hope that I could be much helpful daughter to him

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faham hakikat hidup

Hari ni mood sy sgt off. Taktau la kenapa.rasa nk duduk dlm bilik diam2 dan xnk jumpa or cakap dengan sesiapa. Dalam hati rs sgt lost dan murung tanpa ada sebarang sebab pun. i know that i shouldn't be in that state because i'll just end up hurting myself.

Perkara yang sy selalu buat bila sy dlm keadaan mcm ni adalah cuba faham balik tujuan penciptaan sy. Sy dicipta untuk beribadat dan status sy dlm dunia ini adalah hamba. Tetapi sy hidup dengan angkuh. Sy hidup dengan meminta minta. Dan bila tidak diberi sy merajuk,sy marah. Astaghfirullah. Sy bukan makhluk Nya yg terbaik. Sy tahu itu. Tp sy boleh sekurang2nya jd makhlukNya yg sedar di mana tempat sy berada. Bila sy realize benda2 ni,sy jd malu untuk jd moody tak tentu pasal. Sy tak ada hak pun nak hidup dengan pemikiran bahawa 'ni hidup sy,suka hati sy la nk merajuk ke,nk marah ke' sbb sy tahu sy diwujudkan dengan tujuan dan bukan terjadi dengan sendiri. Cuba kita bayangkan,jika kita dapat mencipta sesuatu dengan tujuan khusus, tetapi akhirnya ciptaan itu tidak bertindak mengikut arahan. Kita pasti marah bukan?mesti kita akan ckp 'tak sedar diri betul'. Tapi Allah terus menerus mengurniakan rezeki tak putus2 walaupun kita sehari tu kdg2 langsung tidak pedulikan Allah. Astaghfirullah. Bila dah faham hakikat ini,mahukah lagi kita hidup secara pentingkan diri sedangkan kita ini diwujudkan dan tanpa ihsan Allah,tak mungkin kita dapat pijak bumi dan rs hidup yg kita ada skrg. Wallahualam.

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mom's advice

What is ur life most wonderful gift?

For me, it's my mom's advice.

Sometimes it feels like nag. But if i listen to it carefully, every words is actually a reminder for me so that i won't be lost along the way. My mom's best advice is " baca quran selalu supaya jauh dr penyakit lupa". 

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