Hapy BDay

Happy birthday to me!

I’m extremely lucky!

I was born very pretty!

And everyone loves me!

yAY..I'M 25 YEARS OLD!

actually i'm not that happy

25 for a girl..i repeat A GIRL.. is quite a number

but for a woman..life has just began at 25

so..it's ended and started at the same age..

what i'm talking about?

oh whatever

kita hanya ade kuasa untuk merancang

Assalamualaikum..
ape khabar?hope that everybody is fine
aku just nak update bout my current life
and seperti title di atas, kita hanya ada kuase untuk merancang dan PENENTUAN adalah milik Allah
dan apabila perkara berlaku tidak seperti dirancang, we have to come out with another plan
before, aku ada tulis entry aku berjaya jd student master kt utm bla bla bla
but now, i'm working as a government servant
how life can change without u even think!
seriously, i never thought i will be one of the gov people this soon.
yes, i am grateful.alhamdulillah
but i'm not ready to take this kind of responsible
sebab aku da divert pemikiran untuk study
and really focusing on what i'm doing and really enjoying it
but of course, i have my own reason to let go of it
it's ok. redha tu kan lebih menenangkan dari go against what Allah had decide
tapi ade jugak dengar cakap2 yang tak best dari orang yang mengatakan orang keje gov ni malas,xbanyak keje or bnyk mengular
so typical kan
tp seriously, it depends on ur work disciplines and the people itself
and ade denga jgkla yang xheran pon xdpt keje gov..gaji kecik bla bla bla
some people ni kan memang sangat sharp la diorang punya kata2 tu
tp it's okla..aku xmelatah pon
xkisahla..gaji kecik ke..malas ke..rajin ke..xmintak duit diorang kan
aku pon still coping lg
denga cakap2 orang macam 2 jd cam malas nk layan
yg dtg tu pon dr kawan2 jgk
if only they could be a little bit supportive

I'm Back

Hey guys.miss me..?
haha.tahu tak i just recover this blog back.
berbulanbulan jugakla xleh nak access sbb id n pasword salah
and just lately aku take effort utk really find out y yg xdpt nk access
hish..
ok.just nk update i'm still around.
will be posting new entry soon.
lot of things happend and kind oh "phew" gak la
k take care!

in this life, u fought alone

"i'll be there for u when u need me"

that's all sound so bullshit when at your hardest time, u just fought alone

no kidding

life is that way

oh no no no

it's not life to blame

it's the people who live and share the life

i'm mad at some people now

coz as far as i remember

i always be there with them disregard of their situation

at the lowest or the highest

but then...hurm

i couldn't put it into words

i don't know

i shouldn't expect much from other people in the 1st place

i'm alone in the end

so alone that i could only hear myself talking

i'm getting used to it.

kind of

i have to i guess

wondering

wahh..april dah..

lepas 8 bulan lg dah nk masuk 26!!

damn..aku 26??
Tuanyaaaaa...

tapi people said yg jangan 'age' yourself..

true enough i guess

but, still

aku ni orang2 yang traditional

so for me 26 tu da agak berumur bg seorang perenpuan..

sedih jgk pk yg byk lg yg aku x achieve dalam tempoh masa 25 thn ni

banyak je bende yang aku menyesal dlm masa 25 thn ni

banyak

sbb tu rasa nk ulang blk masa

but..will i make it differently?or perhaps jd lagi worst..

who knows kan

so since aku da hidup pd zaman sekarang ni, just move forward jela kan

mane yang xleh nk hadap tu, telan jela

kalo xle nk digest, better keluarkan

setiap masalah pun ade solution

cuma solution tu yang kadang2 xsesuai dengan perasaan atau masa

xsalah mengharapkan sesuatu kan

aku rasa aku x cukup adil untuk diri sendri

aku too harsh on myself

aku slalu letak boundary la around so that i wont get hurt or sad easily

but by doing that pon aku still sakit jgk

perasaan perasaan

satu perkara yang aku mmg cukup x pandai nak handle

baik aku xdapat rasa apa2 dari tanggung satu perasaan yang aku sendiri pon tak paham

entahlah

hidup ni susah..

tengah cr cara nk permudahkan

starting dengan tahu apa yang aku nak dalam hidup sebenarnya

semoga aku jumpa jawapan

IAllah~

tak cukup ikhlas

ALhamdulillah..
hari ni otak macam di inject dengan fikiran yang berfaedah sikit
selalunya aku salu fikir bende yang sia2 je..
psl kerje..cinta..nk kawen n that kind of stuff la
berulang ulang smpi bende yg same je aku fikir
then hari ni..
aku cam teringat satu peristiwa la
yang pernah berlaku di sekeliling aku
bende ni jadi mase annual dinner ofice aku
then aku duduk satu meja dengan wakil dari rumah kebajikan
this woman actually seorang nun..
tapi..
kalau kita nk mencontohi peribadi seseorang, xkisahla background dia dari agama mana sekalipun kan
ape yang boleh aku cakapla kan
aku macam termalu sendiri dengan diri aku..
ok time tu makanan dihidangkan..dan aku mmg sgt lapar
sbb dr petang xmakan n mmg ditunggu2la makanan
then sblah aku, tempat kawan aku stil kosong lagi sbb die cam bz lari2 uruskan majlis hari tu..
pastu aku cm fikir" ok jap lagi dia datangla tu"
sbb mmg dia kat kawasan tu je..
so aku pun sibuk uruskan makan aku sendiri
then she ask me " where's your friend?"
aku cam terkebil2 sbb tgh makan dengan rakusnya
"u didn't save some for her?"
at that time aku rs cam Ya Allah..malunya aku dengan diri aku pada ketika tu..
aku pon jawabla "err..she'll come later"
then terus aku sendukkan makanan dalam pinggan kwn aku 2
at that point rs cam..i should think bout other people instead of me
and then dia cam sangat concern pasal orang lain..
aku mmg rasa cam "aku kene berubah"
xboleh hidup semberono mcm sekarang
sekarang kan aku rs cam aku ni loser gakla
cam ignorant
mls nk involve
mls nk berubah
cam hidup dalam kotak fikiran sndiri
kene berubah
kene berubah
hurmm

a song to sum up my feeling

Way Back Into L.O.V.E

I've been living with a shadow overhead
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just can't seem to move on

I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need em again someday
I've been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
Oh oh oh

I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but I just don't see the signs
I know that it's out there
There's got to be something for my soul somewhere

I've been looking for someone to shed some light
Not somebody just to get me through the night

I could use some direction
And I'm open to your suggestions

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I'll be there for you in the end