Ramadhan Ya Ramadhan

Alhamdulillah..kerana aku stil di beri kesempatan utk hidup pada ramadhan yg ke23 ni..syukur sgt2 sbb stil sihat n dapat menikmati semua ini.
Aku rs aku da sia2kan puasa sebelum nih.cam xde kesan pon kt diri aku
so kali ni.aku akan make sure yg at least aku berpuas hatila dgn amalan aku.
hmm..

jiwa lara..

hari ni hujan..dan dalam jiwa aku pun hujan jugak
hmm..
aku dah penat dengan hidup..
penat dengan keinginan aku
penat dengan karenah orang
penat dengan sme expectation yang aku sandarkan pada orang
senang kata aku dalam mode kecewa skarang nih..
tak pasti kerana apa..
tapi kerana semua yang membelenggu aku..
bila la hujan dalam hati nih nk berhenti..
bagaimana nk hilangkan kekecewaan?
aku seperti putus harapan..
lemah dan mati..

FEverIsh

dem..i'm not feeling well this couple of days..nape yek..tibe2 je aku risau kot2 aku kene h1n1..tp it comes with flu rite...alhamdulillah..huhu...tiap2 pagi tekak aku akan rase loya n aku akan muntah2..doktor ckp sbb angin kot..nsb bekk..jgn ckp ade baby sdhla..huu..pastu kalo lame2 lam tempat aircond kepala aku akn rase sakit pastu mate aku pon cam berpinar2..badan plak asik panas pas sejuk je spanjang ari..and yg aku xske sbb aku akn rase lemah selemah2 nye lam satu hari tu..nk mkn pon xlalu..tp xkurus2 pon..hmm..kene g cek gak nih..da lame gak simptom ni..

I didnt get THAT job

before ni aku ad membebel2 bout my intvw rite..guess wut..no luck for me there..T_T
demm...aku rase geram ney..sbb wth la..if taknak amik aku xyahla pressure aku smpi 1jam kt lam bilik tuh..arghh..wat aku mengharap je..and diorang keep nodded everytime aku kuarkan idea2 aku yg 'bernas' and 'hebat' tu..haha..cam diorang stuju je..tp seribu kali sayang sme itu hanyala sandiwara mereka. peringatan kepada kawan2 ku..don put ur hopes too high..u will get hurt..really!!dah xde rezeki nk wat cane kan..hmm...tpaksela keep looking lg..endlessly..i'm tired of waiting already...huu

More Positive

haha..arini..7/6/2009..
so da sbulan lebey aku menganngur..
hmm..
actually..i kinda like it
before ni aku merepek2 psl aku xdpt keje kan
but lately..i kinda appreciate the fact that i'm home with my parent..ouw..
bile lagi kan nk stay lame2 ngn diorang
in fact i'm d youngest n i'm the one left to stay with them
agak sunyi lol rumah ni..huhu
tapi now cuti skolah..okla skit
but aku sgt3 gembira jd anak bongsu..haha
coz..xpayah nk berebut apa2 pon
n then u have everything that u wished for (x pon sbnrnya..saje je nk suh korang jeles..haha)
well u know wut i mean
tp xde la aku suke sgt keadaan aku skg sampai aku xnk keje kan
i still need a job!!haha
hmm..aku br g interview hr tu...
well..quite toughla gak
ade 3 session..
1 - Bout urself,n ur ko-q actvs
2- Discuss wit panel bout topic given..aku kene global warming (thank God!)
3-Problem Solving

U know ms aku tau aku bley discuss ngn panel ms sesi 2 tu..aku lega gak la sbb..at least ko jawab je la pape kan kalo die tanye..in fact that's the worst session..dem..die nk aku cerita from the root bout the factors lead to global warming...ahhh..i'm not prepared..if only i know.. bout the 3rd session, well it's not wut i expected la..aku di beri 1 masalah..bout environment jgk..dan aku sbg manager..bgmn nk mengatasi mslh tu..n panel tu konon2 jd wakil dr DOE. Haha..tp seronok jgkla dpt blakon jd manager..n aku ingt satu je..rupa2nya ad 2 probs..ceh..second time tu same prob tp panel jd wakil dr mayor's office lak...hmm. soalan diorang agk ssh la..they twisted every word that came out from my mouth..nowhere to escape..really..and 1 jam aku kt lam bilik tu..haha..tp memang satu pengalaman interview yg aku akan ingt smpi bila2 la..sbb aku memang tak jangka akan jd cm2..aku berpuas hati ngn ap yg aku wat..so skang..segalanya terserah pada rezeki la..SERIOUSLY. I really need a luck now..InsyaAllah..

So..aku rase..better now..than before..aku xcr sgt pon keje ni..gile kan..org len punyela sibuk anta resume..tp aku ngah rilek lg..bukan xnk anta..tp..ntahla..tgh menunggu jwpn lg dr company yg aku da apply..xnk clash..n xnk sme dtg serentak..aku ni da la indecisive..dtg interview byk2 kang x terlayan plak (macamla result hebat sgt!!huhu)

Tapi..memang kena sabarla..sbb ms awal2 ari tu memang aku asyk pk bile nk keje je..yela..kwn2 aku pn da rmi keje..tp aku stil lg menganggur..huhu..skarang..aku yakin..ade rezeki aku..cuma..kena berusaha..n jgn give up..it's not the end of the world pon kalo aku xdpt keje lg..cume malu skitla..ahh..biarla..dah diorg dpt keje awl..nk wat cane kan..huhu..dr aku duk skt2 ati ngn jeles..better aku mantapkan dr aku ngn skill2 len..blaja masak ke..jahit ke..
skang..aku abiskan masa ngn menikmati setiap ap yg ad..

and to be truth.. i really enjoy myself right now..at home!!!

Officially UNEMPLOYED

i am now..unemployed..nothing's good bout that..
well..
i can't pick a stand now
because
some part of me decides that
'i don want to think bout getting a job yet'
but
some part of men
which is' too anxious' is making my life miserable by questioning myself
'why i don't get a job yet'
arghh
i'm battling with my own self rite now..
i am truy exhausted..and i just want to lay down somewhere and just looking at the sky..
thinking bout nothing
but my frens, from day to day are getting busy wit the interviews, and some of them are already have a job waiting..
and i am jealous..yes..so damn jealous..
but
to be honest..i only post a resume..yes A resume..haha..
how will i find a job with just that
i'll put some efforts this week..
i'll send as many as i can..
and see how it will surprise me..hmm..
i guess..my mind is too anxious bout my future
but my soul is too exhausted to even care bout it

i need a rest
i need a beach
i need a waterfall
i need a place where i could escape
just for 1 day

The Beginning of The End

******

Well..before u know it..things are getting better.Alhamdulillah
my pSM..done!!err..only the presentation..thesis..hmm..not so much..huhu
well don want to talk about it
let's talk bout today
i will cherish today as a'Sebuah Kisah Klasik utk Masa Depan'
after this month, i will no longer a UTM student
no more classes to attend
no more assignments to do
no more test to score
and no more exam to die for
NO MORE
it's a bittersweet
it's a mixed feelings
i will..definitely miss my life here as Lina Chan,Am,Siti, Leng Chan..all kind of names which represent me
I've grown here
all the things happened here changed me..
the way i think
the way i react
the way i live
i..become a better person
all the struggles
it is no more
All i have to do is face the world
where u don have much chance
u have to shine wherever u go
u live alone
but i hope it's not that bad
i believe in my self..
i HAVE to

Frens...i love all of u..yeah every single of u
whether it annoys me in some way or not
u r the character in my story
whom i met and melt..
till next entry y'll