I didnt get THAT job

before ni aku ad membebel2 bout my intvw rite..guess wut..no luck for me there..T_T
demm...aku rase geram ney..sbb wth la..if taknak amik aku xyahla pressure aku smpi 1jam kt lam bilik tuh..arghh..wat aku mengharap je..and diorang keep nodded everytime aku kuarkan idea2 aku yg 'bernas' and 'hebat' tu..haha..cam diorang stuju je..tp seribu kali sayang sme itu hanyala sandiwara mereka. peringatan kepada kawan2 ku..don put ur hopes too high..u will get hurt..really!!dah xde rezeki nk wat cane kan..hmm...tpaksela keep looking lg..endlessly..i'm tired of waiting already...huu

More Positive

haha..arini..7/6/2009..
so da sbulan lebey aku menganngur..
hmm..
actually..i kinda like it
before ni aku merepek2 psl aku xdpt keje kan
but lately..i kinda appreciate the fact that i'm home with my parent..ouw..
bile lagi kan nk stay lame2 ngn diorang
in fact i'm d youngest n i'm the one left to stay with them
agak sunyi lol rumah ni..huhu
tapi now cuti skolah..okla skit
but aku sgt3 gembira jd anak bongsu..haha
coz..xpayah nk berebut apa2 pon
n then u have everything that u wished for (x pon sbnrnya..saje je nk suh korang jeles..haha)
well u know wut i mean
tp xde la aku suke sgt keadaan aku skg sampai aku xnk keje kan
i still need a job!!haha
hmm..aku br g interview hr tu...
well..quite toughla gak
ade 3 session..
1 - Bout urself,n ur ko-q actvs
2- Discuss wit panel bout topic given..aku kene global warming (thank God!)
3-Problem Solving

U know ms aku tau aku bley discuss ngn panel ms sesi 2 tu..aku lega gak la sbb..at least ko jawab je la pape kan kalo die tanye..in fact that's the worst session..dem..die nk aku cerita from the root bout the factors lead to global warming...ahhh..i'm not prepared..if only i know.. bout the 3rd session, well it's not wut i expected la..aku di beri 1 masalah..bout environment jgk..dan aku sbg manager..bgmn nk mengatasi mslh tu..n panel tu konon2 jd wakil dr DOE. Haha..tp seronok jgkla dpt blakon jd manager..n aku ingt satu je..rupa2nya ad 2 probs..ceh..second time tu same prob tp panel jd wakil dr mayor's office lak...hmm. soalan diorang agk ssh la..they twisted every word that came out from my mouth..nowhere to escape..really..and 1 jam aku kt lam bilik tu..haha..tp memang satu pengalaman interview yg aku akan ingt smpi bila2 la..sbb aku memang tak jangka akan jd cm2..aku berpuas hati ngn ap yg aku wat..so skang..segalanya terserah pada rezeki la..SERIOUSLY. I really need a luck now..InsyaAllah..

So..aku rase..better now..than before..aku xcr sgt pon keje ni..gile kan..org len punyela sibuk anta resume..tp aku ngah rilek lg..bukan xnk anta..tp..ntahla..tgh menunggu jwpn lg dr company yg aku da apply..xnk clash..n xnk sme dtg serentak..aku ni da la indecisive..dtg interview byk2 kang x terlayan plak (macamla result hebat sgt!!huhu)

Tapi..memang kena sabarla..sbb ms awal2 ari tu memang aku asyk pk bile nk keje je..yela..kwn2 aku pn da rmi keje..tp aku stil lg menganggur..huhu..skarang..aku yakin..ade rezeki aku..cuma..kena berusaha..n jgn give up..it's not the end of the world pon kalo aku xdpt keje lg..cume malu skitla..ahh..biarla..dah diorg dpt keje awl..nk wat cane kan..huhu..dr aku duk skt2 ati ngn jeles..better aku mantapkan dr aku ngn skill2 len..blaja masak ke..jahit ke..
skang..aku abiskan masa ngn menikmati setiap ap yg ad..

and to be truth.. i really enjoy myself right now..at home!!!

Officially UNEMPLOYED

i am now..unemployed..nothing's good bout that..
well..
i can't pick a stand now
because
some part of me decides that
'i don want to think bout getting a job yet'
but
some part of men
which is' too anxious' is making my life miserable by questioning myself
'why i don't get a job yet'
arghh
i'm battling with my own self rite now..
i am truy exhausted..and i just want to lay down somewhere and just looking at the sky..
thinking bout nothing
but my frens, from day to day are getting busy wit the interviews, and some of them are already have a job waiting..
and i am jealous..yes..so damn jealous..
but
to be honest..i only post a resume..yes A resume..haha..
how will i find a job with just that
i'll put some efforts this week..
i'll send as many as i can..
and see how it will surprise me..hmm..
i guess..my mind is too anxious bout my future
but my soul is too exhausted to even care bout it

i need a rest
i need a beach
i need a waterfall
i need a place where i could escape
just for 1 day

The Beginning of The End

******

Well..before u know it..things are getting better.Alhamdulillah
my pSM..done!!err..only the presentation..thesis..hmm..not so much..huhu
well don want to talk about it
let's talk bout today
i will cherish today as a'Sebuah Kisah Klasik utk Masa Depan'
after this month, i will no longer a UTM student
no more classes to attend
no more assignments to do
no more test to score
and no more exam to die for
NO MORE
it's a bittersweet
it's a mixed feelings
i will..definitely miss my life here as Lina Chan,Am,Siti, Leng Chan..all kind of names which represent me
I've grown here
all the things happened here changed me..
the way i think
the way i react
the way i live
i..become a better person
all the struggles
it is no more
All i have to do is face the world
where u don have much chance
u have to shine wherever u go
u live alone
but i hope it's not that bad
i believe in my self..
i HAVE to

Frens...i love all of u..yeah every single of u
whether it annoys me in some way or not
u r the character in my story
whom i met and melt..
till next entry y'll

serba x kena

Rase serba xkena la
xtaula kenapa
tapi asyik lupa je skg ni
pastu planning asyik out je
lain yg aku nk wat
lain yg jadi
memang dugaan betul la
memang sgt terasa dugaan nya
and then
kepekaan aku skg sgtla lemah
asyik terlepas pandang je
tp
alhamdulillah
aku sabar lg
mungkin ada hikmah di sebalik yg terjadi
now
asyik ulang alik p.gdg je
yela byk plk benda yg ttgl
lps satu,satu
aku pn xtaula ap masalah aku ni
skg aku xle fokus sgtla
why ek
banyak sgtla nk pk
rase byk plk keje nk kn setel
psm
pap
rc
IS
Coastal
and by d end of this month i must at least completed 3 of it
Ya Allah..
Dugaan Dugaan
masalahnya berpunca dr aku jgk
aku akui la
poor time management
tp xde masela nk menyesal skg
kena siapkan jugak
and now aku dah x risau
aku da melepasi tahap risau
now aku dalam tahap ENTAHLAH
aku da xde jawapan utk ap2 soalan dlm otak aku ni
seriously
aku da malas nk pk
xguna gk risau
bkn siap pon keje aku
so..
malas nk pk
aku jus nk berusaha
sedaya upaya
n insyaAllah
Allah xkn abaikan aku
Dia tahu apa yg terbaik utk aku
and i will wait for that moment to come
till then
i'll fight tooth n nail for everything that botherd me

kerisauan bertambah

seriously..aku berada dlm situasi kerisauan yg amat kronik..huu
Ya Allah..TOLONGLAH
aku risau sgt if aku xsempat nk siapkan PSM neh
time neh mulala rasa menyesal gila sbb xstat awal2
dlm 2 mgu lg nk setelkan
Goshhhhhhhh!!!!
aku xnampak lojiknya
tp..nak ke xnk
i have to finish it
byk lg ni
adeii
and i think that i'm not the one in this situation
but..aku da xsmpt nk risaukan diorg dah
ap pn kena buat jugak
seriously..i'm nervous about this
really nervous
i have to chill a bit
OMG help me Pleasssssssseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

cetusan rasa

hari ni xde mud sgtla..
kenapa ek..
hmm..ntahla..
tiba2 terpk psl kwn..aku trs rs bad mud
sshny nk cr org yg memahami aku ni
ke aku ni ssh sgt nk difahami..
ntahla..
sbnrnya..aku pntla nk jd pendengar je..
aku pn ad somting yg nk d luahkan..
tp kenapa ap yg aku nk ckp xde sape yg nk denga..
hmm..maybe diorg denga tp xcukup bg aku kot
mungkinla..
i expect too much from my fren kt
aku terasa la ni..
kenapa ye..
sbb time die..dari A smpi Z aku denga..
tp time aku ni..byk plak alasan die..
alasan ap?
mcm2 la..
mebi alasan yg lojik
mungkin jg..tp bkn tu yg aku nk denga
kan teman tu utk berkongsi segala kisah n cerita
tunjukla sikit rs berminat dgn ap yg aku nk cte ne..
btul2 kecik ati ni
yela..sape tak..
time die..aku sggp korbankan ms tdo aku..dga mslh
tp time aku dlm dilema ni..
bkn kate nk kol..tny pn mls..
kwn ke..
terasa beb..
mebi la die ad mslh sndr..tp..
biala..aku da mls nk tny kaba die
ko kan bz ngn hidup ko..lantak ko la..
ko xperlukan cerita aku
dan aku dah xperlukan ko lagi
...................................................
ad lg sorg makhluk Allah ni..
ingatkan die kwn aku
tp bila aku mtk tolong wat keje yg ble thn pnatla
terus tolak
kalo xnk tlg pn at least bgla alasan yg menyedapkan ati
alasan dia : malas
hey..nsb baikla aku ni xsuka marah lama2
tp agk tersentak jgkla
dahla xtny pn kene tlg wape
aku tny main2 je pon
aku nk tgk die org yg mcm mn
tapi die terus jwb xnk
yg aku terasa sbb aku knl die lm jgkla
ble thn baik jgk
aku xsangka die org yg mcm tu
terus..aku da rs xrugi pape xkwn dgn org cm2
mmgla bgs ko jujur..ko ckp ko xnk wat...
tp jaga la hati kwn ko ne..seriously..aku da xde nafsu nk kwn ngan ko
setakat ni jela persahabatan kite
aku xperlukan kwn yg hidup utk diri sendiri mcm ko
........................................................................................................
aku sgt mementingkan persahabatan
aku akan ingat kwn2 aku
even aku xkontek..
tp once diorg kontek aku..
aku akan layan diorg sehabis yg baik
tp aku sedihla bila diorg xmenghargai ap yg da aku wat
ssh sgt ke...

kepada kwn2 aku yg rasa aku ad mengabaikan korg..soryla yek..aku kdg2 xsdar salah sendiri
tp kalo korg nk aku denga mslh korg mmg akula org yg terbaik
sbb aku syg korg
tp aku xtaula dm hati korg aku ni siapa
mungkin hanya tempat utk meluahkan kesedihan atau masalah
once krg da rasa ok..korg da xnk denga cerita aku
ntahla..
nilaila diri korg sendiri...